


Winging It [Remastered]

by lilnaugrim



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, Broken wing, Fluff, M/M, Torn Wing, Wherein everyone has wings except dwarf and qunari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:01:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8914498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilnaugrim/pseuds/lilnaugrim
Summary: Cullen despises the bigotry that Dorian faces throughout the Keep and his troops. He's done his best to resolve the hate for the Tevinter mage but life goes on and he can't convince everyone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all!  
> So I really despise the old edition of this copy and so I decided to write a new one! My style has changed slightly; broadened and whatnot. So I decided to update it in hopes that you will either enjoy this one better. I've kept the old one up in case there is anyone who should enjoy reading it again.

                Cullen exited his office and roost for the morning. The sun was warming the surrounding battlements and he had a few minutes of alone time before the reports would start piling up. The air was warmer than it had been in months, but he knew the mountains wouldn’t give in to summer so easily. The day had just begun.

                More than half of Skyhold’s population and the soldiers below were in the air all around the keep. They were stretching their wings after being holed up in the Keep for so many months. Cullen looked up at them and smiled. He recognized some of the wings up there and was surprised to see Leliana among them with Sera. He noticed the Inquisitor and Blackwall further out, they were sky dancing and courting. He found the new couple to be downright adorable and a good match.

                The Commander took in a deep breath of the warm mountain air before he stretched his wings. He faced out towards the mountains as he let his wings warm under the rising sun. It had been some time since he’d gone out for a flight and wished he had the time today but knew he couldn’t shuck his responsibility so quickly. He had sworn an oath to the Inquisition and would uphold his position until he was no longer needed. The sun warmed his broad, golden wings and he moaned with the feeling. It was reenergizing and uplifting to be out of his cramped office. He didn’t mind his job but he was grateful for the few moments he had outside as well. He had a hand in training the recruits still, but he had been so swamped with office work lately.

“Well, well, well, look who is enjoying himself,” a smooth voice sounded behind him. Cullen opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder to smile at the mage.

“Good morning Dorian,” he greeted his friend but did not change his position. “Wonderful day out, isn’t it?” he asked.

“Perhaps for you Fereldan people,” Dorian huffed at him and came up alongside of him. “To me, this is still a frozen wasteland,” he shook his head and looked to the Commander.

“This is glorious,” Cullen shook his feathers to rise and air out for a moment before he pulled his wings in. “Of course, not all of Ferelden is this cold but it is cooler than Tevinter, I know this,” Cullen agreed. “You knew what you were getting into when you left Tevinter and went south though,” he shrugged, wondering why Dorian always complained about the cold even when he knew.

“Kaffas, I didn’t expect to be in the damn mountains!” Dorian growled at him. The mage huffed and reset himself to shake his head. “I’m not built for this weather like you are. I don’t have down feathers,” Dorian huffed and pushed his wing out to show Cullen how thin his feathers were. “I’m made for tropical weather, water resistant but not cold resistant.”

“I’m sorry Dorian, I don’t know what to tell you,” Cullen shrugged. What could he say? Wear more furs? Don’t go outside? Stay huddled in his library nook at all times? Dorian shook his head and folded his arms.

“I apologize, it’s not your fault that we’re here,” he looked to Cullen with an apology as he closed his wings up tight again. He always seemed to have his wings closed in tight. Cullen didn’t care if his sat properly or occasionally became loose and dangled more; as long as it was comfortable.

“Actually,” Cullen sighed, “it kind of is my fault,” he looked out at the mountains. “I was the one who decided to use Haven as a base. I’m not entirely sure what I was thinking—or if I was thinking at all to be honest,” he glanced to Dorian who was simply looking at him. “But, I should have known better,” he shook his head.

“Commander, at the time, you were only fighting the breach in the sky. The closest form of civilization was Haven,” Dorian argued with him. “You couldn’t have had any idea what was really out there.”

“Don’t you think I should have looked?” Cullen turned to look at him. “My job was to investigate the explosion but I clearly didn’t do all that I could have! In turn, I cost too many innocent and good lives. The Inquisitor was almost one of them!” his response had turned angry. Dorian gave him a sad look, Cullen truly believed that it was his fault that all those men and women had died trying to escape the wrath of Corypheus.

“I have a feeling that no matter what I tell you, you’ll still believe it was your fault,” Dorian looked at him, searching the tired face of the Commander. “It wasn’t your fault Cullen, you cannot let the weight of all those who died, rest on your shoulders alone. Cassandra, Leliana, and Josephine all had a say in where you set base. It was not you who made the decision,” he attempted to convince the man. Cullen shook his head and turned away again. “I apologize for bringing it up, I know it’s been only two months and everyone still grieves,” he said softly, coming to put his hand on the Commander’s shoulder for comfort. Cullen looked at the hand and then glanced to Dorian who wore a small but comforting smile. “is there anything I can do to help?” he asked, tilting his head to try to look at Cullen again. The Commander shook his head.

“I’ll be alright,” he said instead. “Thank you though, for trying,” he tried to make Dorian feel better about it as well.

“Why don’t we take a quick flight? It should ease your mind, yes?” Dorian asked, hopeful.

“I have too much work to get done I’m afraid,” Cullen declined the offer.

“Commander, you can’t keep refusing flight like this,” Dorian tried to stop him from returning to his office. “You are human, you are meant to fly. You are not meant to be stuck on the ground like a dwarf or Qunari,” he growled when Cullen turned his back on him.

“Dorian, I truly appreciate it, but I have a duty to perform to the Inquisition and I intend to fulfil it regardless of what it means,” Cullen said before he left the mage standing on the battlements. He felt bad for being snappy with Dorian; it was much too nice of a day to be angry. He sighed deeply when he looked at his desk and the reports that sat on it from yesterday. He shook his feathers out once more before he sat down to finish out the task the best he could as more reports came in.

                Cullen was famished by the time noon came around. He wondered if Dorian was up for a chess game. The mage always did enjoy showing off a new cheat move that he’d learned sometime in the week. He decided not to pursue the matter when he thought about their conversation from earlier; he didn’t much feel like flying which he knew Dorian would make him do. He knew that once he was in the air, he wouldn’t come down easily. It had been weeks since he’d flown, in fact, it had been weeks since anyone had flown. It had been storming and snowing heavily recently and so everyone had been kept inside for their safety. Today had been the first day that the sun shone down on the ancient Keep.

                The Commander decided to grab a bite to eat from the mess hall and then return to work afterwards. He still had many repots to sift through and then he had to go to meet with some new recruits to make sure they fit the Inquisition. They took in nearly everyone to their ranks but Cullen liked to make sure they could handle the responsibility or he’d assign them to another station if he felt they weren’t fit for duty. He received too many young boys too eager to give their lives for the sake of the Inquisition; it always pained him to see those young eyes plead with him. He had his own moral code and didn’t intent to throw someone’s child into the mists of battle. The boys would make a fuss about their new assignment but would eventually see to their duty.

                Cullen stopped a moment when he entered the atrium to head back to his office. He saw Dorian arguing with one of the other researchers there. It seemed to be over something rather important because Dorian appeared flustered and miffed. Cullen glanced to Solas who looked up from his desk to roll his eyes at the pair up above. Cullen decided to sneak out of the atrium to avoid the conflict, he was sure that Dorian could resolve the issue, whatever it was. He felt bad; the mage had a hard enough time fitting in here without all the trouble that stirred around him.

                It had been two months since Haven and yet, no one could accept the fact that a Tevinter mage had joined their ranks. Not even the Inquisitor could make the fighting cease. It was fairly common for the mage to be spat on or called names as he walked around the keep. Most of the bite came from the soldiers in the ranks below. Dorian occasionally joined the Commander in training to watch and learn but typically ended up leaving when he was overwhelmed by the rude and sly marks behind the Commander’s back. Cullen knew of some of the abuse but not all of it. He would punish any soldier he found making remarks about the Vint and would make an example out of that boy to the company. He prayed for the day when everyone would accept Dorian.

                Cullen sighed again when he entered his office. He rubbed at his neck and wondered if he should go back. He felt as though Dorian would berate him for attempting to save him but at the same time, he might be of use to settling the argument. Surely Leliana would settle it; he nodded to himself in thinking that she would quell the argument. He went back to work and attempted to not think of the dueling mages.

                It was late in the night when Dorian showed up at Cullen’s office, he gripped a bottle of wine with an appropriate amount of dust on it. Without saying a word to Cullen, he grabbed the glasses from the shelf and sat them on Cullen’s desk and began to pour into the two.

“Long day?” Cullen asked him, finally breaking the silence.

“You could say that,” Dorian agreed with an angry tone to his voice.  He pushed one glass to Cullen and took the other for himself. Cullen accepted the glass and took a sip; the wine was smooth and bright tasting. He hummed approval and took another sip. Dorian on the other hand, took a gulp from his glass as he went to sit in his chair by the fire.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cullen asked him, he didn’t move from where he was sitting.

“No,” Dorian replied and took another long drink. Cullen wasn’t sure what he should do, typically Dorian just sat there and let the Commander finish up his work while he became drunk and would confess everything later. This day he looked much too angry and so Cullen kept quiet for fear of his wings being ripped off if he were to speak. He finished reading and signing the reports that he had to. He sipped more of his wine and looked back to Dorian who was staring into the fire. One more gulp and his glass was empty. The mage looked up to Cullen when he came over to pour him another glass. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “You’re the only one around here who treats me with any small amount of respect,” he grumbled and drank some of the wine. Cullen pulled up his comfy chair to be nearer to Dorian so he could talk.

“Do they still treat you so badly?” Cullen asked as he sat and put the bottle of wine on the floor for later.

“It’s as if they think I’m going to turn around and use them for a blood magic spell!” Dorian scoffed. “I hate blood magic as much as any of you do!” he exclaimed with anger. “How can they not see this?” he looked to Cullen with a bit more exasperated look. He shook his head and looked back at the fire. “Just because I’m a Vint.” Cullen stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about what to say.

“I could help you, you know,” he decided to say. Dorian looked back at him and shook his head again.

“No, you cannot be the bad guy here,” Dorian defended. “You have a large task on your plate and I cannot ask you to side with me and become tainted with Vint blood. They wouldn’t see it as a punishment; they would see you turning into a Vint because you’d protect me. I cannot risk you,” he explained.

“You don’t have to ask me Dorian, I am offering,” Cullen furrowed his brow, why wouldn’t the mage accept his help?

“And I am telling you, no,” Dorian said firmly.

“Then I’m not sure what you want me to do,” Cullen wondered why the Vint even bothered coming to him if he didn’t want his help. That’s all anyone came to him for and he was more than happy to help but Dorian would always refuse.

“I don’t want you to do anything, I want you to simply listen to me,” Dorian looked at him fondly.

“Why?” Cullen wondered, what would that accomplish?

“Because it helps, more than you know,” he smiled. “You don’t have to do anything, just listen to me and let me let off some steam and frustration. I don’t care if the people here never learn to accept me, I just need an outlet to ventilate myself before I explode on them,” he explained.

“Oh,” Cullen said, “okay,” he could do that. And so Dorian ranted for the better half of two hours while they—he—finished off the bottle of wine. The mage was feeling a good buzz by the end of the night and was telling Cullen about his home and his childhood, the good parts of it. The parts where his family slave took him sledding once in the mountains or when they went boating or when he started to learn how to harness his strong magic. Cullen smiled at the elated mage; this was easier to deal with than he thought.

“Come on Dorian, you should get some rest for the night,” Cullen attempted to get the mage up off the chair as he was practically falling asleep.

“I want to stay here…with you,” Dorian grumbled, refusing to move in a child-like manner.

“You can’t, I only have the one nest and I’m not sure you’d want to sleep with me—er,” he looked at the mage wide-eyed when he started to grin. “I didn’t mean like that!” he corrected. “Besides, you wouldn’t like my roost, it’s hard and uncomfortable.” He attempted to move the mage towards the door but Dorian stopped him and pinned him to the wall for a moment.

“I’d like to ride something hard,” he purred and pressed his face to Cullen’s.

“Uh Dorian, that’s…no, just no,” Cullen pushed him away. “Come on, you need to go to bed,” he was able to drag the mage along towards his own roost.

“Will you stay with me Commander?” Dorian asked, nearly purring as he latched onto Cullen’s arm and hand.

“No,” Cullen blushed at his hand being held by the mage but pulled him along all the same. Through the atrium and down the stairs where Dorian started to complain about Cullen not sleeping with him. Thankfully the researchers had all gone to bed and the castle was mostly quiet. Varric was sitting near the fire in the grand hall working on something. The dwarf smirked at Cullen as they passed and Cullen told him not to say a word as he pulled Dorian up the stairs towards Vivienne’s quarters and across to everyone else’s roost. Dorian was trying to fiddle with Cullen’s wings now, aggravating the Commander. Dorian was quick to pull Cullen into his room, shut the door and pull the Commander into a kiss. Cullen was startled at the sudden movement and lips crushing into his. He had to take a moment before he grabbed Dorian and pushed him away; he kept his hands on the mage to keep him away since he knew Dorian would simply try again.

“Dorian! What in Andraste’s name is wrong with you?” he asked in a growl.

“I know you like me too, that’s why you protect me, isn’t it?” Dorian smiled at him. Cullen couldn’t exactly deny the allegation but he still shook his head in disbelief. He knew the mage was brash and bold about his decisions but he never quite expected this. Sure, Dorian had flirted with him many times at this point but Cullen just wrote it off as who he was, he didn’t think it would ever lead to something.

“No, no, that isn’t why I protect you,” Cullen answered him as his blush raged across his face. “I protect everyone, that is my job,” he explained. “I don’t protect anyone more than the other!”

“But you do,” Dorian still smiled at him. “You like me,” he accused again.

“Yes Dorian, as a friend I like you, but nothing more,” he finally let go of the mage and gave him a gently push towards the bed. Dorian started to frown at him.

“But…that cannot be,” he shook his head. “You…you protect me, you care for me, you—you…” he became increasingly upset.

“I do Dorian, I do, but as a friend. I…don’t do…men, you know this,” Cullen told him. “Good night Dorian,” he said. He hated leaving the mage so upset but he left knowing it would be best for him. It wasn’t until he closed the door behind himself that he realized something. He looked down at his breeches to find them bulging. He groaned inwardly and wrote it off as simply a reaction from being kissed. It hadn’t been a good kiss after all but he flew back to his roost anyway.

“Damn it all!” Cullen growled to himself as he lie in his nest trying to get off. He typically didn’t have troubles with this but for whatever reason; it just wasn’t working out that night. He breathed out forcefully and laid his head to the side to relax for a moment. Maybe a moment of relaxation would do him good. Dorian liked to relax too; in fact, he was very good at relaxing. Cullen’s cock gave a twitch as he thought about how Dorian relaxed, typically in his office with a bottle of alcohol. Cullen looked down at him, he was leaking now. “What…in…?” he was confused. Nothing he typically thought about was getting him off but simply thinking about Dorian made him do that? He was in denial; there was no way that he was into men. He swore to himself and tried once again thinking about his usual fantasies. Again, nothing. “You have got to be kidding me,” he murmured. He didn’t want to do it, he really didn’t. But he was so hard, he argued with himself, it nearly hurt and it clearly wasn’t going away any time soon unless he did something about his erection.

“I swear to the Maker…” Cullen growled as he closed his eyes again to start day dreaming about Dorian. The blush rode high on his cheeks quickly as he thought about what would have happened if he had accepted the man’s kiss and ended up in his nest. He was thoroughly embarrassed by what he was thinking; his ear tips had even gone red. As soon as he thought about entering Dorian and the sound that the mage would make, he orgasmed. Cullen moaned loudly and hard as he striped himself. He would later be embarrassed more by how much he orgasmed but for the moment, he was absolutely satisfied. He prayed to the Maker that no one had heard him; he hadn’t been sure of just how loud he was.

                Cullen found sleep in the middle of the night after orgasming three times whilst thinking about Dorian. He had cursed himself and asked if he was a teenager again, he found himself to be ridiculous in thinking that Dorian would actually do anything for him, especially after he so bluntly turned him away. Cullen ended up waking up angry. He didn’t want to be involved with men and he most certainly didn’t want to be involved with the Vint. He knew better than to be wary of what others thought but at the same time, he’d never considered courting a Vint before, one that was so hated through the Keep’s ranks. Cullen could not be tied to the man regardless of what his body wanted. He made himself ready before going down to visit the troops and begin their training for the day. He’d forwent his usual armor and simply dressed in heavy furs to negate the cold wintery land below.

Cullen was only one man; he couldn’t handle thousands of people on his own. He often had Blackwall and Iron Bull come to teach different techniques of fighting to each squadron. This day was going fairly well until one of the soldiers noted a certain mage coming down from the Keep. Cullen looked up with his newfound anger to look at the mage descending so gracefully. He started to ignore the man and continue talking with the captains of this section of troops.

“Commander, may I have a word with you?” Dorian asked him ever so politely, this was not the mage that Cullen knew. Dorian was nice, but he wasn’t polite.

“No,” Cullen told him and continued the tactic teaching. Dorian seemed shocked that Cullen wouldn’t speak to him but instead of trying again like he normally would, he stayed quiet. He didn’t leave but he didn’t move either. Cullen continued, his captains looking around nervously now that the mage was here. Cullen demanded their focus.

“Heh, looks like the big boss doesn’t want you anymore,” one of the foot soldiers approached Dorian with a smirk.

“On the contrary, I am simply being polite and waiting for his conversation to end,” Dorian told him. The man was big, big enough to get the better of Dorian if he tried.

“It sounds more like he doesn’t want you around no more,” the brute threatened him.

“If you lay one finger on me—“

“You’ll what? Go crying to the Commander? I don’t think that’s going to work no more,” the brute growled at him.

“Cullen, are you hearing this? Why aren’t you doing anything about it?” Dorian asked him, exasperatedly. But Cullen didn’t answer him, he only continued on with his teachings. Dorian looked back to the brute who grinned down at him.

“Sounds like you’re all alone,” he taunted.

“I will not hesitate to use magic against you, do you understand soldier?” Dorian backed away from him and readied his hands in case he needed to cast a spell.

“You mean blood magic, don’t you? That’s all you Vint’s ever do!” the man growled at him and followed the mage.

“I. Fucking,” he started to throw his fire at the man. “Hate.” The brute deflected some of the magic but his leg caught some of the flame and it burned. “Blood. Magic!” Dorian yelled at him. The man had fallen to his knee in hopes to put out the flame on it. Unfortunately, it had only attracted more soldiers from around the camp to advance to their friends’ need. “Don’t you all understand? I am on _your_ side! I hate blood magic the same as you! I don’t want to be here anymore than you do!” he exclaimed to them as they started to approach now, gathering their swords and shields. “Cullen!” he tried one last time but the Commander still didn’t acknowledge him. Dorian ended up fleeing the scene. Some tried to fly after him and so he quickly froze them and they fell to the ground. He beat hard and flew fast to the Keep and to his room. He knew he had to leave.

“Commander, are you sure you want the soldiers pitting themselves against the Vint like that?” one of the captains asked the man.

“Dorian had to learn a painful lesson,” he stood up to talk with them.

“But why, did he take too much of your help?” he asked. “All I ever see is the man frightened by the soldiers but yet he still comes down to watch and help when you need it. He seemed like he trusted you and I may be out of turn here ser, but that seems like a difficult feat to accomplish,” he spoke tentatively.

“You are right Captain, that was out of turn,” Cullen snapped at him. “Gather your men for training,” he growled. The Captain bowed to him and ran off. The other three men folded their arms and looked to Cullen with distain.

“What is wrong with you Commander?” another captain asked out of disbelief. “With all due respect, if you wanted to scared the mage then that is your own accord, but don’t punish us because you are angry,” he man huffed at him. Cullen was torn, he wanted to stay and drill the men but he also knew that his trust had fallen greatly in the few moments that Dorian had been here. He could feel himself dropping the anger and starting to feel ashamed as he looked around. The men seemed to be buzzing with the news that Cullen no longer protected the Vint.

“I will leave training in your hands today Ryland,” Cullen told him quietly. “I…think I have a friend to apologize to,” he nodded in his agreement. The captain smiled at him and patted his shoulder.

“Fly swift Commander,” he bid him farewell for now. Cullen nodded before he jumped into the air to fly back to the Keep.

                Cullen began to hate himself, his inner turmoil was too great and he didn’t understand it. He didn’t know why he let the men scare Dorian; the mage certainly hadn’t done anything wrong. Even though Cullen felt slightly violated from the kiss, the mage hadn’t done anything else when he told him to stop. Dorian was a good man, slightly misguided but he was a good man. Cullen felt terrible for making him think that he wasn’t going to protect him. He knew he had made the wrong decision.

                First Cullen checked in the library to see if the mage had returned. He asked around to see if anyone had seen him. The other researchers were disgusted that the man was looking for the Vint but he was quick to set them straight. News couldn’t have traveled this quickly, could it? He had rarely talked to these folk up here, figuring that Dorian could fend for himself but he was realizing how quickly the man was hated. His hate for himself began to grow even more. It was truly only the inner circle of people that liked Dorian and even then a few questioned the mage and his motives. Cullen searched the wine cellar and the mess hall before he went up to the mage’s room.

“Dorian?” he knocked on the closed door. He listened and heard nothing. “Dorian, are you in there?” he asked again. “I…am sorry for what I did…I didn’t think—of course I didn’t think,” he huffed at himself. Dorian surely wouldn’t accept this apology, it was pathetic. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he tried again. “Can I come in?” he asked. Still nothing, there wasn’t a creak of a floorboard or anything. Cullen frowned and wondered if the mage was in or not. He decided to enter the room. The door was unlocked which was unusual for the mage, with the dislike from many he often had to keep himself locked to be safe. Cullen pulled the door open gently to look in. “Dorian?” he asked again. Still no answer. He went in and realized that a few things were missing. He furrowed his brow at the state of Dorian’s room; he never left it this messy. The man was very particular of where his items were placed. Some clothes were missing, his staff, his coats, and Lyrium potions. Cullen’s heart dropped, had the mage left?

                Cullen burst out of the room and flew up; he had to find his mage. He flew higher and higher until he could see around the mountains that they were situated in. He looked left and then right, he saw nothing. He looked towards Tevinter and saw something over the mountain top; it was just for a moment. It could have been anything but Cullen dove towards the mountain and flew as fast as he could towards the object he’d seen. He prayed that Dorian was alright, he prayed that he could convince the mage to come back to him. Up and over the mountain top and down. Cullen’s heart stopped when he realized it was just a raven sent out by the Spymaster. Cullen cursed the Maker and his bride; he knew Dorian was a much faster flier than he was.

                Cullen’s attention was grabbed when he heard a scream on his right side as he continued to look around. He looked to find a group of humans and some elves in the air in some sort of tight circle. There was so much noise that it was difficult to know what was going on. They were high in the air above the mountain. Cullen’s heart jumped when the person in the middle threw out a magic spell to cast everyone away from him or her. It was Dorian, he could tell by the black iridescent wings and he rejoiced until the crowd chased after the man flying away.

“Dorian!” Cullen called out as he rocketed off towards the group the next mountain over. Dorian’s scream was heart wrenching as the group took him over again. Cullen could see the feathers being ripped out as spells were cast out every which way. He yelled angrily to the group as he flapped as hard as he could to get there but it seemed like it still took forever to finally get to the group. Cullen was an expert on air tactics and he used all of them as he battled with the rouge men and woman who were tearing at Dorian. Cullen went into a rage as he fought them. He tore and broke off feathers, he punched them and hit them. He was nearly taken out of the sky when another attacked from above him but he was able to save himself and scare the guy off as he brandished his sword. The last of the attackers finally left the mage alone and Cullen was proud.

“I never want to see your faces around Skyhold again! If I do, I will clip your wings and throw you in our dungeon!” Cullen shouted at them as they limped off through the sky; wounded. He smiled to himself until he heard Dorian calling out his name. Cullen looked behind him, the mage wasn’t there. His heart dropped as he looked down. There he was, falling out of the sky; he didn’t have enough feathers to hold himself up. “Dorian!” he yelled out and quickly dove. He beat his wings hard to gain speed to catch his falling friend. Dorian was doing his best to slow his descent but his wings were much too tattered. Cullen could see Dorian’s face; he was scared and very much beat. “Dorian!” Cullen yelled again when he finally latched onto Dorian’s arm to pull him up. Unfortunately, the ground was much closer than Cullen had anticipated. “Hold on!” Cullen told him as he hugged the mage to himself and pulled up hard. He pulled too hard and it sent them careening into the forest. Cullen’s wing clotheslined a tree and it snapped. Cullen cried out in pain as he hit more trees and let Dorian fly from his grasp. More hits and Cullen’s body finally came to stop when his back was slammed into a tree and he fell through the branches to the ground. He passed out from the pain of his broken wing and falling on the hard rocks below.

 

                Cullen woke sometime later to Dorian righting him and making a fuss over the man. Cullen groaned and huffed in pain when he was leaned up against a tree to rest. Dorian was doing his best to warm them and brush the snow from his body. He was talking, Cullen could tell, the mage’s lips were moving but he couldn’t hear anything just yet except a low murmur. It wasn’t until Dorian stopped and looked at Cullen’s shoulder; the mage moved his hand to touch the area near Cullen’s shoulder. The pain of the wound caused Cullen to seize and scream in pain. The sound quickly returned to him and he could hear Dorian attempting to soothe him and apologize profusely.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I am so sorry Cullen!” he tried to keep Cullen awake. The Commander settled again as he breathed through his mouth as the pain started to subside. “I’m sorry,” Dorian said as he leaned his forehead against Cullen’s chest to sob. Cullen couldn’t feel his left side and wondered what was wrong with it. What had caused him so much pain when Dorian touched him? He attempted to look down but found he could barely move his head. Instead he tried to speak.

“It’s alright Dorian,” he whispered, barely able to make a sound. Dorian picked his head up to frown and furrow his brow.

“It’s not alright Cullen!” he yelled at him. “Your clavicle bone is sticking out from your shoulder and your wing is broken! It _is_ my fault!” he exclaimed, he seemed to be delirious.

“Is that what this is?” Cullen asked. Dorian seemed to be in disbelief that Cullen couldn’t feel the bone sticking out of his shoulder. “I can’t exactly move my head to see it,” he explained.

“You’re bleeding badly too,” Dorian said, softer now as he calmed himself. Cullen could see the bloodied patch of snow where he’d been lying previously and the rock on which he likely had snapped his bone.

“I can’t feel it,” Cullen told him. “Which…could be good or it could be bad,” he huffed out. “Don’t suppose you know any healing spells, do you?” he asked. He felt like his mouth was going dry and he was starting to feel drowsy. Dorian started to shed more tears before he shook his head. “Dorian, it’s okay, this isn’t your fault,” he told him quickly. “If anything…I am to blame. I’m sorry I let that soldier push you around, that was wrong of me but I just couldn’t get over the fact of how my body reacted to you,” he explained himself. He wasn’t sure how he was even forming proper sentences at this point. Dorian sniffed and tried to dry his eyes. “I had no idea that a mob would follow you, how did you end up out here?” he asked. Dorian wouldn’t look at him for a few moments. The mage looked at the shoulder wound and then down his arm to the still and nearly blue hand on Cullen’s lap before he had the courage to speak.

“I was going to leave,” he admitted softly.

“Leave for what?”

“I was going to go back to Tevinter,” Dorian looked at him as more tears fell; he couldn’t help himself.

“Tevinter?” Cullen asked quietly. “I…” Cullen didn’t realize how great of an impact the event had been earlier. “I’m sorry Dorian…I didn’t think you’d leave,” he wanted badly to hug the mage but he couldn’t move. He started to wonder if he was paralyzed from hitting so many trees.

“There’s nothing to stay for, why should I?” Dorian shrugged, still crying. Those words hit Cullen, what was there to stay for? Was Cullen nothing to him?

“No, no, no!” Cullen was able to raise his right hand to pull Dorian to his chest. “Stay, for me,” he pleaded. Dorian said his name softly as he leaned against the Commander to cry still. “I’m sorry; I didn’t think—clearly, clearly I didn’t think…” he huffed at himself as he kept his arm around the mage. “I…didn’t understand what was going on, why my body liked it so much when you kissed me. I was angry because I was so sure of myself, there was no way. But…I just…I can’t imagine my life without you now either. I…don’t want to just jump right into something but I think if we took this one step at a time, I might be more willing to um…be with you,” Cullen admitted to him. He was blushing but at least the rush of blood was warming his body. Dorian picked himself up to look at the Commander.

“You want to court me?” he asked. Cullen nodded, finally, some head movement. “I’m sorry for kissing you when I was drunk…I’m usually much more tactful than that,” Dorian apologized.

“Yes,” Cullen answered, “would you like to try again?” he offered. Dorian looked to him in slight surprise that Cullen would offer it; the man of his dreams offered another kiss.

“No, not right now,” he declined the offer. Cullen knew that this was very serious when even Dorian wasn’t in the mood to flirt. Cullen raised his hand to caress at Dorian’s cheek. He was clearly bruised and bloodied from both the fight and the fling through the trees. The mage pressed his cheek into the hand and closed his eyes. Cullen sighed when he felt bad about causing all this grief, he was the one who couldn’t just accept the fact that he was in love with the Vint. Cullen had rarely been attracted to many people; there had been a few girls in his past but nothing very serious. Now he knew why, he’d been waiting for Dorian to come into his life.

“Are you alright?” he asked. Tears slipped out from under the mage’s lids before he shook his head no. Dorian leaned back to Cullen’s chest to cuddle into him. “I’m sorry Dorian,” Cullen said again, he felt as though he couldn’t say it enough. He pet at Dorian’s hair in hopes that it helped to soothe him at least. “Um…the adrenaline is starting to wear off,” he warned quietly. “I’m…not really sure what is going to happen.”

“I can’t fly back,” Dorian shook his head. “My wings are so sore,” he groaned quietly, his own pain starting to throb throughout his body. “I don’t have much Lyrium left at the moment. It doesn’t replenish as quick when I’m hurt,” he shivered. “I can try to send up a flare in a moment…I’m…not sure if it will breach the mountain top,” he looked up through the trees. The evergreens protected them from the wintery storm around but also made the surrounding area dark; it was still midday.

“Go try,” Cullen urged him. Dorian looked towards the exit of the forest, thankfully they hadn’t been flung too far in and the mountain top was visible just before the trees started to block his view.

“I will…be back in a few minutes,” Dorian nodded. He had to push himself off Cullen and sit on his hands and knees for a little while, gearing to stand. He decided it was best if he just crawled towards the opening instead. Once out of the forest, he did his best to stand and look up to the mountain top. With every ounce of Lyrium he could muster, he shot out a fireball into the sky. He fell to his knees as soon as he cast it; drained of all Lyrium for the moment. He watched it as it flew higher and higher until it finally dissipated just after the mountain top. There was no way anyone saw that unless they had been looking in the direction. Dorian cried out in anguish, they would die here in the forest, he was sure of it. He tried to stand again to make his way back to Cullen. He fell into the snow a few times before he simply decided to crawl back. It seemed that Cullen had passed out from the pain. The bleeding had slowed on his wound but Dorian could see through his tunic that the area was very red and irritated. He instead, crawled into Cullen’s lap to sit and lean against the unconscious man before he followed Cullen’s example.

                The fade was quiet where Dorian was. There were very few spirits around but it seemed to be rather peaceful. Here, he could forget that he had ever been hurt, he liked it here. He wondered if Solas could get a message from him while he was still awake. Perhaps Dorian would get lucky and find the other mage taking a nap. He decided to risk it and started to walk towards the mountain peak. There was no flying in the fade; he was as grounded as any Qunari or Dwarf. He walked to the peak fairly easily and then started to make his way down. He had a lot of ground to cover if he was ever going to make it through to the Keep.

                It felt like hours and Dorian was barely out of the forest and ready to cross the frozen river where the soldiers camped. How badly he wanted to be able to tease the men through the fade and to torment them like they did to him. But he had a goal in mind and knew that if he didn’t make it to Solas before he woke up, all would be lost. He and Cullen would both die in the forest or at the least, Cullen would die and he’d have to drag both their carcasses back to the Keep and he knew he couldn’t do that. So he trudged on. Another hour and he was finally inside the Keep gates. Here the spirits bustled more regularly. They seemed to be attracted by all the magic. It delighted Dorian to see all the friendly spirits, it gave him hope again. He ran towards Solas’s rotunda, he prayed to the Maker that the mage was napping. His heart fell when he saw the mage and the Inquisitor talking. He came closer and sighed. He listened to their conversation for a while before Solas’s brow furrowed and he looked towards Dorian.

“Can you see me?” Dorian quickly asked. He should have known better, Solas was only sensing his presence.

“Have you seen Dorian around by any chance?” Solas asked the woman.

“Not since early this morning, why?” she asked, glancing to where Solas was staring at Dorian.

“No reason,” Solas shook his head and returned to their conversation.

“No! No! Solas! You need to fall asleep or enter the fade!” Dorian yelled at him.

“No need to yell little one,” a spirit showed next to Dorian.

“I need help,” he looked to the bright spirit.

“How may I be of assistance?” she asked, at least, Dorian was sure it was a she.

“My friend and I, our bodies are stuck up on a mountain in the northwest. My friend’s shoulder and wing are broken. I’ve lost too many feathers to fly even myself. I need to get Solas into the fade so I can speak with him and tell him to rescue us!” he was frantic; he knew his body was starting to stir.

“Not a problem little one, I will have his attention in just a moment,” she nodded to him and then started to pulsate and glow. It was really quite beautiful but Dorian could read the desperation in the pulses; a distress call. Solas’s attention was quickly grabbed and he looked to the spirit. He quickly bid the Inquisitor a farewell and ran out of the room. The spirit ceased her glowing and looked back to Dorian with a smile. “He will arrive in a few minutes,” she said before she started to wander away. Dorian was impatient waiting for the mage. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Solas ran into the rotunda some minutes later.

“Dorian?” he questioned. “I thought I felt your presence, what are you doing here might I ask?”

“I don’t have much time!” Dorian was quick to speak with him. “I need you to send out a search party. Cullen and I are trapped in the northwest mountains just over the peaks in the forest. He has a broken wing and my wings have been shredded, I cannot fly!” he spoke with as much urgency as he could gather.

“Where exactly?” Solas asked.

“I don’t know, just to the north and slightly to the west I think. Towards Tevinter,” Dorian shook his head. “We’re in bad shape, I don’t think we can survive the night,” he told him nervously.

“Dorian, it is already dusk!” Solas exclaimed.

“Hurry!” Dorian told him as he started to fade out; his body waking prematurely from the pain of his wings. He screamed in anger and pain when he awoke. He scared away some of the local wildlife that had gathered to observe the two humans. Cullen was still passed out and likely would be for a while if he was lucky. Dorian scrambled away to go heave by a near tree and vomited. He couldn’t stand the pain of his wings and wished now that he knew any sort of healing spell or soothing spell. His pack and everything he’d brought had been stolen from him. He finished vomiting and panted in the darkness of the forest. He did his best to cover the steaming vomit in the snow and wash his mouth out before he crawled back to Cullen.

                Dorian stayed awake the rest of the night; he protected Cullen’s body and created a fire near them when he had enough Lyrium again. He made sure Cullen’s heart was still beating occasionally and scared off some wolves that wanted to find easy prey. He could feel more spirits gathering around them and the little fire; keeping them safe. He thanked the spirits in the night for their protection but he knew he couldn’t fall asleep again. He had to keep checking on the Commander and keep his body warm so he wouldn’t lose anything to the frost.

                The dawn was approaching as Dorian felt himself bobbing in and out of sleep. Cullen was starting to stir in his sleep, it was strained and pained. Dorian picked himself up to prepare for the awakening. Cullen did awaken but he didn’t scream in pain, he only sat there as his eyes opened and batted a few times. They looked to Dorian and he gave a small smile.

“Morning,” Dorian whispered tiredly.

“Have you been up all night?” Cullen asked in a hushed voice; deep from sleep.

“Most of it, had to make sure you were okay,” Dorian nodded.

“How do you feel?” Cullen asked, he winced when he moved his left arm slightly.

“Well, I’ve vomited a few times now. I talked to Solas after walking for hours in the fade and I’ve been keeping the wolves off us while the Inquisitor and her party searches for us,” Dorian gave him the update.

“You’re exhausted, come’ere,” Cullen motioned for him to cuddle against him again. Dorian went tentatively, he didn’t want to hurt the Commander but he did look very inviting. Dorian leaned against his right side and curled up on his lap. Cullen’s right arm wrapped around him and held him there. “Thank you Dorian,” he said. “Thank you for all that you’ve done to me. I was too selfish to realize how much you mean to me and how much I care about you. I was so in denial that I hurt you and I’m sorry—“ Cullen stopped when he realized that Dorian had fallen asleep against him. “Rest easy,” he whispered.

                Another hour and Cullen finally heard the wing beats over the tree canopy. He wanted to yell out to them but found he had no voice. Solas landed at the little entrance to their forest and quickly signaled the rest of the party to follow them; they were found! Cullen smiled to Solas before he let himself slip unconscious. They were loaded onto boards carefully and flown back to the safety of Skyhold to be tended to.

 

                Cullen woke feeling pain. He recalled being rescued and so he wondered why he was still in pain. He strained to open his eyes to look around. He was lying in a cot in the healing ward and Dorian was at his side on the other cot; sleeping still or unconscious. He groaned when the pain from his wing was just too much.

“Ah, good, you are awake,” a healer came over to him to smile down. “Your wing is in bad shape but we should be able to fix it just fine. We’ve just finished with your shoulder. You are healed but you will be sore for at least a week and must wear this sling until it is better,” she explained to him while he winced and grimaced with the pain in his wing. “Just give us a moment, I need two to set this wing,” she said.

“Set?” Cullen asked with a bit of a whimper thrown in. He’d had bones set before and he’d seen it done. He’d seen plenty of things but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t still scared of them.

“Don’t worry Commander, you’ll be fine,” she patted his hand and left for the moment to gather another healer. As soon as she came back and both healers readied themselves, Dorian bolted himself awake to yell at them.

“Stay away from him! You’re hurting him!” Dorian yelled and rolled to fall off the cot he was on.

“Dorian!” Cullen hissed at him, this was no way to be acting towards the healers.

“No, no, no!” Dorian climbed up onto the bed with Cullen where he tried to climb over to stop the healers. Cullen was able to grab the mage and pull him down onto his chest to keep him still. “No…you’re hurting him!” Dorian said but it was fading. He repeated it twice more, softer and softer until the mage was out cold again.

“What in Thedas was that?” he asked the two healers.

“Dream walking most likely,” the elder healer replied. “He’s exhausted and will take a few days to heal himself. He could probably sense your nerves and his mind told him he needed to rescue you,” she explained. Cullen nodded and kept his arm around the mage. Dorian’s wings were no longer inflamed and terrible looking but they lacked many of his necessary feathers still and would for another month before they grew in. Dorian was resting peacefully on him now; curled onto the Commander like a cat.

Cullen seized and screamed in immediate pain when the healers set his wing while he was distracted. He couldn’t help himself as he let his tears loose as they started the mending process. It still took a few more minutes of pain before he could finally relax. He was already sweating and panting with the pain but he finally felt the coolness wash over him as they finished up. The elder healer gently pushed his wing in and when they were able to get Dorian back on his table, she taped Cullen’s wing to his body to keep it immobile for a few days.

The two were given potions to knock them out for many hours to allow the healing process to continue without being disturbed. Cullen fell into a deep sleep even though the straight cot was very uncomfortable. Between the exhaustion and the pain, he still felt like he could sleep for hours on end. Knowing now that Dorian was safe, he rested easy.

 

                Dorian woke with aches and sores. He felt as though he’d walked physically through the fade and back but he knew that certainly wasn’t possible. He groaned and turned onto his side to find comfort again. He found no comfort on the cot that he lie in and grumbled to himself. He heard murmurs of people talking at the far end of the room but otherwise, the world was quiet and still for the moment. He cuddled into his blanket in attempt to find sleep. He stopped a moment when he heard something at his side. Dorian lifted his head to look out of sleepy eyes and upon the Commander’s bare chest.

                The hunk of a man was still sleeping. Dorian had to gaze at him with hunger—his stomach growled, he wasn’t so much hungry for Cullen as he was for real food. The mage grumbled with his hunger and attempted to sit up on the bed. His body wasn’t quite ready to be up just yet but his stomach was growling louder and louder with his hunger. He looked towards the end of the room again to see one of the healers talking with the other. It seemed to be dark outside still which meant it was just after the middle of the night and they had been out for nearly twenty hours. Dorian looked back to Cullen again when the Commander wet his lips and took in a deep breath.

                Dorian looked Cullen over, drinking in all that he could because he knew that Cullen wouldn’t be shirtless around him any time soon. The Commander’s hair was an absolute mess that seemed to make him even more attractive if it were possible. Dorian worried that he’d end up with an unwanted erection if he didn’t move away from the gorgeous man soon, but who was he kidding? An erection from Cullen was never unwanted. He chuckled to himself at his own joke but sighed with disappointment when he saw the giant black bruise on Cullen’s shoulder. The man’s arm was in a sling to keep it immobilized. The formerly broken wing was also taped to his body to keep it still while it healed properly. The bruise looked awful and painful, a scar where the bone had broken through his skin, now joined the other marks on Cullen’s body. Dorian didn’t realize just how marked up Cullen’s skin was, he’d certainly seen his fair share of battle through his life. Dorian lifted himself to situate him on Cullen’s good side so he could touch the scar on his shoulder gently.

“Stop,” Cullen murmured in his sleep. Dorian was unsure if he was hurting the Commander or if he was dreaming. He kept tracing for a moment more until Cullen’s good arm snaked its way out to push his hand away. “Hurts,” Cullen breathed out as he kept Dorian’s arm away by resting his own on it.

“Do you need some elfroot?” Dorian asked him gently, wondering if Cullen was even ready to get up or not.

“No. Hurts,” Cullen answered him. Dorian sighed; he knew he wasn’t going to get a straight answer until the man was more awake. He began to draw shapes onto Cullen’s good side on his pectoral. Cullen wet his mouth and turned his head away as he took in a deep breath to let it out. Dorian smiled, it was nice watching the man wake from slumber. He stilled his hand when Cullen’s face turned from peaceful, to something a little more pained. Cullen turned his head back to Dorian and groaned with the pain that he was starting to experience.

“Cullen?” Dorian tried to shake his shoulder gently. The healers didn’t seem to hear him or see him just yet, they were too far away and focused on themselves yet. “Come on darling, wake up,” he cooed softly as he cupped Cullen’s cheek and patted him. Cullen’s eyes opened but he wasn’t quite awake yet. After a few blinks, the Commander looked up to Dorian as the tears started to well. He was most certainly in pain. Dorian looked up to the healers and quickly called them over. The women pushed him out of the way so they could tend to the man. Dorian hovered nervously, watching, waiting. Cullen writhed on the cot as they tended to his wing. One of the healers put her hand on his shoulder and pressed down hard. Dorian nearly vomited when he heard the crunch of the bones going back into place fully. Cullen cried out in pain, he woke other patients in the room. But the one cry was it, he settled again and closed his eyes.

“Is he okay? Please tell me he’s alright?” the nervous mage asked them as they pulled away.

“He’ll be fine, he just needs more rest is all,” the elder healer told him.

“Why did you need to set his bone again? Surely you did that last morning?” he asked.

“Aye, we did, but they don’t always stay,” she shrugged. “Sometimes, if he moves in just the right way before it’s fully healed again, it can break once more and we have to set it. This is why we use the potions to make you sleep,” she explained.

“But he’ll be able to do all his normal things, yes? Hold a sword, quill, shield, fly?” he listed out.

“Yes, yes,” she waved him away, “all that and more,” she said. “Go find some breakfast, you should be starving,” she insisted.

“How long until he wakes?” he asked instead.

“Probably another hour or so,” she shrugged. Dorian went to sit on Cullen’s bed again and wait. He wasn’t hungry any more, he didn’t want to do anything else but be with Cullen so when he woke up, he could see the mage. He lifted his hand to brush away the tears on Cullen’s cheeks. He wanted to lie with the man but he knew that it wouldn’t be permitted. “You need food, go get it,” she tried to tell him off again.

“I cannot eat until he wakes,” he said quietly. His stomach was beyond hungry and into the starving point where he felt as though he could vomit at any given moment. The thought of food now only made his stomach churn.

“He will be fine, go,” she tried to move him physically.

“Unhand me!” he shot a glower to her before he looked back at Cullen and stayed where he was. The healer gave up on him and went to tend to others that had woken with Cullen’s scream. Cullen was sleeping more peaceably now, his breathing was even and his face calm. Dorian bent down to rest his forehead against his friends’ chest. He meant to only show affection but he found he enjoyed leaning against Cullen. He set his arms at either side of Cullen and rested himself half on the Commander to shut his eyes. He was still tired even though he had nearly a full day’s rest. Being scared for Cullen had only made him sleepy again.

                Dorian woke to something touching his hair. He took in a breath and let it out before he wet his mouth and began to wake. His stomach growled loudly with hunger but he didn’t want to get up just yet. The sleep had been good but his body was sore now. The touches to his hair were only making him sleepy again but he gave a little noise to show his appreciation at the hand.

“Are you awake?” Cullen asked him quietly. Cullen! Dorian was quick to pick up his head to look at the man through barely opened eyes. The Commander was barely awake himself but he gave a small smile to the mage.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m awake,” Dorian sat up to pull himself away from the bare chest. He rubbed at his eyes to remove the sleep. “How do you feel?” he asked.

“I was going to ask you the same thing, you don’t look well,” Cullen gave a yawn. “I feel fine, I’m hungry though,” he nodded.

“Yeah…I don’t _feel_ good either,” Dorian shivered and wrapped his arms around himself for the moment.

“Have you talked to the healers about it?” he asked as he attempted to pull himself up to lean against the wall. He grumbled at his wings but was able to sit up with a huff.

“Not yet. They tried to make me eat but…I did not want to leave you yet until you woke,” Dorian looked to the healers instead of Cullen.

“You worried for me?” Cullen asked him.

“I did,” Dorian nodded. “Do you…remember waking?” he asked.

“Not particularly,” he shook his head.

“Ah…well,” Dorian looked to the black and purple bruise on his shoulder. “Your bones were not healing correctly and they had to reset them again,” he motioned to it. “You…you screamed,” he looked away again and shivered at the remembrance of the shrill sound. The sound that made him want to vomit to know Cullen had been in such pain.

“Oh,” Cullen said, he seemed to understand why Dorian had stayed with him instead of getting something to eat. “Was it bad?” he asked. Dorian took in a short breath before he looked up into Cullen’s honey colored eyes and gave a nod. “I’m sorry,” he replied.

“It’s not your fault amatus,” Dorian shook his head before he let his arms go again and crept his hand towards Cullen’s. “You simply scared me,” he admitted quietly as he let his hand slide in to hold Cullen’s. “But I am joyed that you are feeling better,” he nodded and looked back to Cullen to give a little smile. Cullen pet his thumb over Dorian’s soft hand.

“We should find some food,” he suggested as he continued to let his thumb caress the mage’s hand gently. Dorian nodded but looked to the healers once more who seemed to have not noticed the two just yet. He watched them for a few more moments while Cullen figured out what he was looking at. “Do you have a new distain for the healers?” Cullen gave a small chuckle.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Dorian grumbled before he stood up and removed himself from Cullen. He went to move away but Cullen grabbed the mage’s hand again to stop him. Dorian stilled himself but he didn’t look at Cullen. Cullen let go as he pushed himself to the edge of the bed and tentatively stood. Dorian waited as Cullen became more confident on his feet and gently turned the mage around. Dorian still wouldn’t look at him and so Cullen lifted his good hand to catch Dorian’s chin and pull it up gently.

“We don’t have to stay you know,” he let him know. Dorian clenched his jaw before looking over Cullen’s shoulder at the healers who finally looked over to see them.

“You should,” he looked to Cullen finally. “You were so hurt,” he whispered and let his eyes water. Cullen let his hand slide to Dorian’s shoulder to pull him gently into an embrace. Well, Cullen embraced him the best that he could. He extended his right wing to wrap around the mage and pull him close.

“Commander, you shouldn’t be standing just yet,” the healer warned him as she came closer.

“I feel fine,” he told her firmly and continued to hold the mage close to him; hiding and shielding him from everyone.

“I must insist that you—“

“Do you value your position here?” Cullen asked her with a glower as he held his mage. The healer looked confused for a moment before she realized that he was beginning to threaten her.

“I…I—“ she started and stumbled. “Yes…yes sir, I do,” she nodded when she found the words through his piercing glare.

“Good, then you will tend to someone else for the moment, I am fine,” he said firmly.

“But I—“

“Go!” he growled.

“Yes ser,” she said quietly with a nod before leaving the unlikely pair. Dorian hadn’t moved through the conversation. The mage stayed put where he was; holding onto the Commander as if he were his momentary life line. Cullen kept him close as he could, it was an awkward hug with both his wing and left arm out of commission but they made due.

“She is right you know,” Dorian whispered.

“I don’t care,” Cullen told him defiantly.

“You shouldn’t sacrifice your health for me, you’ve already done so much,” Dorian gave some semblance of shaking his head.

“I would sacrifice everything for you,” Cullen said in a whisper. Dorian wanted to hold his new found love tighter but knew he’d only hurt the man. Instead, he raised his right hand up to caress the back of Cullen’s neck and hair while he gave a kiss to his neck and nuzzled himself closer.

“I already know that, you don’t need to prove it,” he smiled in the knowledge of how much Cullen cared for him. “Matter of fact, I believe you already have,” he gave a small pained chuckle and kissed the neck again. “Come, sit down, I can feel your knees giving,” Dorian directed him to sit back down on his bed but Cullen refused.

“I will sit down if you go get food,” he gave his ultimatum. Dorian pulled his head away to grumble at the man before he looked to the healers who were watching over.

“It may seem childish, but I do not want to leave you,” he shook his head. He could see that Cullen was straining by continuing to stand but the man was adamant.

“You need to find food before you make yourself sick again,” Cullen shook his own head, trying to get the mage to leave.

“Can they not bring food to us?” Dorian grumbled to the healers again, giving them glares that they well deserved after hurting Cullen so much.

“Have you asked?” Cullen glanced to them.

“No, they told me to find my own food,” Dorian shook his head. He wondered for a moment if it had not been another act of prejudice or if it had a reason. He was so used to the prejudice and racism through the keep that he had not stopped to think if there might be a reason for the walk to the mess hall and back. Cullen pulled away to sit down when he could no longer stand well. Dorian sat on his own bed while Cullen motioned over the elder healer.

“Yes, ser?” she asked him, glancing to the mage.

“Was there a reason to send Dorian out for food when you typically have it delivered?” he asked her.

“Yes ser, there is,” she nodded. “You see, the body is continually working through the healing process. You two were out for a very long time, had the mage not moved a muscle, he would have surely atrophied through the day. To send him to gather food was an attempt to get him moving again,” she explained.

“And what of me? Your junior healer told me I shouldn’t be standing, why the different tales?” he asked.

“You sustained much greater wounds Commander. The mage has only but a few feathers plucked and some bruises. You, broke your wing and collar bone. Your bone was in much too great of a shock to withstand moving just yet. Given a few hours after you woke, I would have told you the same thing as I told the mage,” she gave a bow of her head.

“So you weren’t trying to get rid of him?” Cullen wanted to cross his arms to show his anger with them but had to settle for holding his slinged arm.

“Deary me, no!” she looked at him as if he were insane. “You have to understand something Commander. I have been in this business for a long time, longer than I am willing to admit,” she looked to the both of them. “I treat all sorts of wounds, I care not where they came from or for who they are on, but how the wound is treated. I suggested my treatment to give him the best of health, not to be rid of him!” she seemed to be offended. “I’ve seen advancements in our fields and I’ve seen terrors in battle. He is not the first Tevinter mage I’ve come across but he is by far the most compassionate one that I’ve met,” she gave an affirmative nod.

“I see,” Cullen said before he looked to Dorian. The mage was looking at the healer with an expression of awe and stars. It was clear that he hadn’t come across these words in quite some time; Cullen made it his mission to eradicate the prejudice that seethed through his ranks. “I understand and apologize for the hard time we’ve given you,” he nodded when he looked back to her.

“I understand and appreciate the sentiment. I’m fully aware of how Mister Pavus is treated around here and it’s a damn shame, they’re losing an awfully good friend of a mage if I do say so myself,” she told them. Cullen glanced to Dorian who was looking at the ground; he seemed to be attempting to hold back something. With a glance upward from the mage, Cullen could see that it was tears that he was damning up behind his eyes. “With that, I take my leave for the moment,” she bowed to them and left. Cullen looked back to Dorian and smiled, the mage was doing his best to keep his composure. Cullen used what strength he had to pick himself up and turn to sit next to his mage. Without speaking, he turned to pull Dorian into another hug to allow him his tears for the moment. It was well needed, Cullen knew this and so he held his mage and pet him and kissed his neck where he could. He felt hurt to know that Dorian had never feel the love of this kind of praise before, he wanted to damn his parents to the eighteenth ring of hell for treating their child like he was a plaything and nothing else. Cullen held his mage until Dorian was out of tears and finally agreed to run to get food and come back. With all the fuss, Cullen had accidentally fallen asleep once more but on Dorian’s cot this time. The mage came back, satiated with his food before requesting to move Cullen to his own roost once he was deemed to be stable. Dorian cuddled with Cullen in the comfortable nest to fall asleep at his side. He wasn’t sure what would come next, after all, they were just winging it.


End file.
